Immeasurable Differences

There's a difference in me. I'm not really sure what it is or when it started. I can't trace back the change, but it's pretty significant. Early in the morning, when I'm responding to my how are you texts, I'm able to say pretty good or good without lying. If I'm not good, it's only because I'm too tired to be that way. With the right amount of sleep, rest, destressing mechanisms, I can be extremely happy. I'm single, confident, I don't need nobody to make me happy, as they say. Maybe they don't. I'm in no way implying that I'd be less happy with someone; it's just nice to remember that I can feel this way by myself. In fact, a good deal of the time I'm with someone, I feel rather similarly to this. The difference, of course, is that you have someone to go home to, sometimes; someone to hold you when you need it.

I have one week left of UDT, and then it's over! Last year I wrote a blog about the entire process. A dumbed-down version of course, but this year has been quite different. I just can't believe how much time it's eating from my life. I shouldn't complain, though. I'm able to do things that people only dream of. I dance for a living, I live my life through expressing my body. I'm supposed to love it, and most of the time I do, but I need to stop complaining so much and just start enjoying the way it makes me feel. I'm alive when I dance, I'm sore as hell and usually tired, but nothing beats moving like that. Nothing.

By the end of this post, Teddy should be here. Lights camera action here we go. I like him. Probably more than I should, probably more than is healthy. Probably I should not write about it online. Probably I like the word probably. It's a good day to be alive, I think.

I get to finally go ice skating! It'll be on Valentine's Day, no less. Screw lame, semi-douchey ex boyfriends who treat you as though you don't exist, I'm going with Jeff on V-day. I couldn't be happier. We're going on a faux date, out to dinner, ice skating, and maybe a movie. I am so excitied. That's really all I have to say right now. I thought there was more, maybe not. Finally done teching Missa Brevis tonight. 4:30-6. Then on with the show!